Preface

It was a cool Sunday morning when Skully One-Eye awoke in his cabin, buried under a pile of naked drunken-passed out piratess’ and one lucky octopus (don’t ask) left over from the massive orgy he hosted the nite before. It was now here in his cabin with the overbearing smell of sex, rum and the sea that he decided it was time for a change. He needed to go off on his own; discover who he was in the world and finally captain his own ship. Skully One-Eye crawled out of the bed; leaving those who are passed out and naked, and thought about his good-bye speech to the captain and the rest of the crew as he walked out of his cabin, onto the deck of the ship to find everyone else.

Skully One-Eye found Captain Barron Von Bitch (as he jokingly liked to call him, in actuality Skully One-Eye thought very highly of the Captain) and a small group of crew planning the days’ adventure. Skully One-Eye goes up to his mates and begins…. “Yo! Listen up ya’ll, cuz this pirates’ pissed, I’m tired of you sea-farin pessimists….”. Everyone is listening staring at Skully One-Eye in wonderment. “What i'm saying is I have come to the decision to leave this fair ship, and these fair mateys, and this fair Captain, to venture off on my own, to meet new people and to commandeer and captain my own ship and crew”. And all while Skully One-Eye is talking everyone is still staring at him in amazement; finally he asks, “What are ye all staring at?”. Moments passed while no one said anything, and Skully One-Eye thought to himself that everyone was either sad to see him go and will miss him, or that they are all in awe of his courageousness and independence. Then finally the Captain spoke, “Ye forgot to put yer clothes on before ye left yer cabin, ye standing there ass naked!! And ye have octopus suction cup marks all over ye body!!” HAHAHAHA laughed Skully One-Eye blushingly. Just another day in his wild pirate life. Later that afternoon everyone aboard the Skull Galleon had a little going away party for Skully One-Eye, and he was then dropped off at the nearest port.


And Now The Story of Captain Skully One-Eye Begins